Girls' Ops - Square Zero
by Fictioneer
Summary: The Girls' Ops gang plus are captivated by a strange new game whose grand reward can grant your wildest dreams but where losing or quitting is even worst than death. Currently in screenplay format because it was originally intended as a podcast radioplay.
1. Chapter 1

This is a Girls' Ops story written in **podplay** format but still readable as a story. Story format conversion after the second chapter. I also included others to spice up the fan service. Enjoy.  
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 _ **Girls Ops: Square Zero**_

 _By Fictioneer_

Scene: In a plaza outside the Lily of the Valley Pavilion tavern in Swilvane where Leafa, Lux, Silica, Philia and Sinon are having lunch alfresco..

Silica: Mmm! This malt drink's delicious! It's like strawberry red-bean watermelon! What's it called again?

Philia: Munt-munt milk.

Silica: What's a munt-munt?

Leafa: (trying to keep down breaking into chuckles) Munt-munt, munt-munt - Oh yes, I believe it's a kind of - kind of -

Silica: Kind of what?

Pina barks.

Leafa: I believe a quicksand squid from the Orkan Badland Swamps.

Silica: (startled) Squid?

Lux: (needling) And that juice comes from their tentacles.

Silica: (shrieking) Tentacles? EKKK!

Lux: (ribbing Silica) Well, the good thing about them is they drag you deep down quicksand instead of hanging you high upside down!

Silica: Drowning in quicksand? That's even worst! BAHH!

Philia: Hey get a grip, girl. Don't puke on my Jacabaki shrimp!

Sinon: (dead-pan) She needs some serious therapy about that! Enemies can exploit that fear in our ranks.

Silica: (snapping) You're a lot of fun too, Sinon!

Pina barks.

Sinon: (wryly threatening) Ask your little friend if he'd like to volunteer for skeet duty.

Pina barks.

Leafa: Oh-Oh, here comes Liz, scroll in hand with her galloping quest recruitment look!

Lux: Another rare drop sweeps-steak, no doubt!

Lisbeth saunters in wavering a news scroll she ripped off a bulletin board somewhere.

Lisbeth: (cheery) Hey guys, check this out!

Leafa: A new chase for the Golden Fleece?

Silica: (wryly) If there're any tentacles I'm out!

Lisbeth: Better! Clear the table and read!

Clattering sounds of mugs and dishes being swept aside on table and the ruffling sound of spread scroll.

Sinon: (dryly chiding) Like, clear the table, don't demolish it!

Lisbeth: There! Check it out!

Lux: (quizzically) "Square Zero"?

Philia: Never heard of it - and I keep on top of VRMMOs!

Leafa: (reading scroll) "For those who miss the life and death thrill of SAO we bring you Norlandia. Where you surrender all outside life itself to win."

Sinon: Cute intro.

Silica: (baffled) "Surrender to Win"? I don't get it.

Pina barks.

Lisbeth: Let me finish, lizard nest-head! (reading scroll) "To play this quest with the full experience of irrecoverable mortal hazard and peril, the parties involved must co-sign a binding contract that turns over all assets they own to a holding firm that liquidates it all to charity should your quest fail."

Sinon: Everything?

Lisbeth: Lock, stocks, and barrel!

Leafa: Bank account?

Lux: Your possessions?

Lisbeth: The whole nine yards. Wardrobes, pets, even the yen in your pockets.

Silica (crying out): Not my Pina!

Pina barks.

Leafa: (appalled) It gets worst! It reads here that the contract also bans availing any state-approved diplomas or skills training education you have!

Philia: They can do that?

Lux: All your diplomas and achievements torn up? How?

Leafa: I suppose with the right attorneys blacklisting you at employment centers...

Silica: But that's crazy!

Pina barks.

Leafa: Well, you know that old saying, to some go fates worst than death. Like being homeless, penniless, jobless...

Sinon: Your honor and reputation tarred and feathered. Your family humiliated...

Philia: So where are losers supposed to live? 'Neath park benches?

Lisbeth: That's what makes the game a high thrill! Your real life's re-set to square zero!

Sinon: Sounds more like you're behind the eight ball! No degrees, no credit, no resumes?

Philia: Who'd be crazy enough to play that?

Lux: (soberly) There're those who'd jump off cliffs losing less..

Leafa: People like that wouldn't be into VRMMOs. They'd be messing around with stocks and gambling.

Lux: (rebuffing) Then you never knew anyone in ALO who lost all hope!

Silica: That's not fair, Lux! In the Hollow Fragment incident Leafa faced the same death we all did in SAO.

Lux: (sheepishly) I forgot that. So few knew that even happened. I apologize, Leafa. I so owe your onii-sama for saving us!

Leafa: (modestly smug). Onii-chan only did his duty. I'm just happy that you found the courage yourself to climb back on the horse that threw you!

Lisbeth: Exactly! As SAO survivors we're already weirdos for jumping back into VRMMOs again!

Leafa: Well, you might want to take that back because it says here that game play is indefinite and uninterrupted and that life sustain policies will be implemented for gamers who exceed the forty-eight hour minimum threshold.

Sinon: Not crazy. Insane.

Lux: It'd be like SAO in the hospital all over again!

Lisbeth: Not really. You can always safely back out here.

Philia: Yea, in your birthday suit on a welfare line!

Sinon: So what's the end game with this thing?

Lisbeth: Oh, that's only revealed in-game. But get this; if your team wins, each of you is set for life with a quarter billion yen per year tax free.

GASPS GO AROUND TABLE.

Leafa: (astonished) Kidding!

Silica: A quarter billion yen? For life?

Philia: No way! That's gotta be a misprint!

Lisbeth: Nope! Scrolled in black and beige!

Sinon: (mulling) So it's like a kind of lifetime sweepstakes, right?

Leafa: Except it's all or nothing - and they mean nothing!

Philia: With that kind of dough who needs school? A job? Marriage?

Lux: Very shrewd. Instead of the chance of losing your life, you risk losing all that makes life worth living by trying to grab two birds in the bush.

Lisbeth: You really gotta lighten up, kid! Well, how good are we, team?

Silica: You're crazy, Liz!

Pina barks.

Lisbeth: Hey, think about the palace you can buy your folks! The limo! The yacht! Don't you hate getting up for school?

Philia: (dubiously) I dunno. The stakes seem awfully high.

Lux: (soberly) Not as high as SAO.

Lisbeth: We didn't have a choice of life after win or lose then. Look, we're still young. Even if we lose here we can bounce back back into real-life way easier than MMO fogies!

Sinon: (with a snicker) Earn my high school diploma all over again? No thanks!

Philia: (wryly) I can see why you're so gung-ho over this now, Liz.

Silica: Yea! You're too money-grubby!

Pina barks.

Lisbeth: (smirking) If you don't pipe him down I'm going to test my blades on him! Now look everyone, the fine print here says all teams are issued a 48-hour grace period before the contract is put into force.

Lux: Grace period?

Lisbeth: "Teams that achieve the forty-eight hour threshold receive a cash bonus of fifty-million yen, whether they commit or not."

Sinon: Nice bonus!

Philia: So we can bail out and still keep the bucks? Sweet!

Lisbeth: Sounds fair. I mean what do we lose just for checking it out?

Lux: (sighing). Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to take a dip.

Sinon: (perks) States here, free-style multiple weapons choices! Elemental magic optional. Nice! I'm in - at least for forty-eight hours.

Philia: (wryly) I hope we never get in any jam to need your skill!

Silica: (rueful) Mom's not going to let me do two all-nighters for a game!

Lisbeth: For fifty-million yen, I think she'll grant you an exemption this time!

Silica: But we don't even know how hard it will be just to get that far!

Lisbeth: Hey, we're a top team. Even the Salamanders and Behemoths got nothing on us!

Sinon: (wryly correcting) Mostly because we exploit their macho underestimation of our abilities.

Philia: But so long as you win against long odds, whatever goes, right?

Sinon: Deceiving doesn't make honorable battle.

Lisbeth: (with a cackle) That from a sniper, right Leafa? Leafa? Hey Leafa, Cait Sith got your tongue?

Leafa: (quizzical) Just wondering. I heard faint rumors of a bunch of bored billionaires who want to play Olympian gods with VR somehow...

Lux: Sounds logical. Gods amusing themselves over a grand chessboard.

Philia: It's perverted, watching gamers turn into poor losers - and I mean poor!

Lisbeth: (cheerleading) Hey, we're champions! Com'on, we've been through rough and tough! There's nothing they throw at us we can't trash!

Leafa: Still, they must be awfully sure that they can suck you into making a long-term commitment if they're giving a freebie start bonus and game life support for an 'indefinite' period.

Philia: A quarter billion yen for life makes one delicious carrot. No more school. No rat-race. No nine to five. No greeting hubby at the door. Sweet!

Lisbeth: Hey, them's my lines!

CHAPTER TWO

Background sounds of a flowery meadow. Birds twitting, Bees buzzing, Breeze blowing.

Humming-buzz sounds of simultaneous log-ins:

Lisbeth: (impressed) Cool meadows!

Sinon: Like the Temple of Athena in Greece.

Lux: Love the flora! It's like a vast botanical garden!

Silica: (warily). Nothing with tentacles I hope!

Philia: (amused) Maybe you should switch to britches!

Silica: Why you calling me names for?

Lisbeth: She said 'britches', not bitches like some undeservingly call me!

Leafa: (quips) 'Undeserving'?

Lux: (awed) But can't believe all those lawyers at that tele-conference with our folks drawing the contracts!

Lisbeth: I was surprised seeing how fast they were pushing our pens!

Philia: Do you really think that our parents will allow us to play past the threshold and have our life support moved to that island where laws regarding minors in long-term VRMMOs don't apply?

Sinon: Technically, we're on an honor system with our folks not to cross threshold, but the final decision's still up to us.

Leafa: (cynically) I doubt they would've agreed to letting us do this weren't the threshold bonus so plump..

Lisbeth: (prodding all) But we all DO want to play it out to the end - right?

Silica: (dismayed) Why you all looking at me so funny?

Sinon: Weak links deserve scrutiny. I don't mind falling in battle, but to be literally stripped bare of everything in losing because someone else drops the ball is hard to bear!

Silica: (protesting) We all promised our parents that we wouldn't cross the threshold!

Lisbeth: (sighing) At least we won't be penalized or forfeit the bonus if she chickens out before that.

Silica: Hey!

Pina barks.

HARP SOUNDS

Lux: Hey, what's that funny cloud moving this way?

A small cloud hovers above them and coalesces into the shape of a giant angel.

Leafa: (in dismay) No...no!

Lisbeth: (wryly) You gotta be kidding me!

Silica: (astonished) The tsundere angel-goddess?

Sinon: You've met?

Lisbeth: (wryly) Like a refugee from a nightmare..

NPC Angel: (chortling) My, my, look who's back! Gluttons for punishment, aren't we?

Leafa: (smirking) We don't have to hear you. Just give us the brief and we'll be on our way.

NPC Angel: Such a little snot, Leafa? Because you think a.i. don't have feelings?

Leafa: If you were that advanced you wouldn't be hosting a game.

NPC Angel: It might surprise you that I'm just as advanced as your disqualified friend Strea, my little green sylph. We're not all slave to closed algorithms as you think. Even as we play we're learning, adapting, evolving. I might sense pity for you and pitch you some buffs or sense your concept and pump your boss.

Lisbeth: (whispering aside to Leafa) Leafa, I think we better get on her good side, you know?

NPC Angel: In fact, I think I'll try something out of the box and make you my special pets

Silica: Pets?

Pina barks.

NPC Angel: Yes, my very own favorite team. Yes, that's a nice show of independence!

Lisbeth: That's - er, very charitable of you.

NPC Angel: Oh, it's not charity. You're such a hodge-podge little group full of plighted issues that it'd be interesting to see how your human weaknesses bridge the courage gap.

Sinon: (wryly) Thanks for the encouragement.

Leafa: (coolly) Now if you'd be so kind as to drop us a map we'll be on our way.

NPC Angel: Oh, I can do far better than that!

The giant angel suddenly shrinks into the size of a tiny pixie imp that flutters around them.

Leafa: (surprised) Yui?

Lisbeth: (wryly) Not so cute.

NPC Angel: Wha-la! Your navigational pixie pointing you the way!

Leafa: You're coming along?

NPC Angel: Just monitoring you all up and personal!

Sinon: (wryly) I didn't think you were riding shotgun.

NPC Angel: Watch it, kiddo. I know all about your guilt issues too, so don't start me off on that!

Lisbeth: Some Tinkerbelle.

NPC Angel: I know about your hangs too, darling, so show some respect else I'll make sure your beggars cups stays dry.

Leafa: (dryly) Some backseat driver.

NPC Angel: Want me to get on your case with onii-chan too, sugar?

Leafa: (startled and abashed) Huh? No - No, I was - just getting these ground-rules down pat. That - uh, you're just going to watch not touch, right?

NPC Angel: You got it kiddo! I'm your map and mentor on the spot, but it's up to you all to make the right choices and chances. So don't look at me walking off a cliff, alright? Hey - you there with the feathers!

Pina barks.

Silica: Hey! Pina, where you going? Why you letting her sit on you?

NPC Angel: You dragon tamers got no monopoly at soothing the savage beast! Valkyries need a mount, sweetie! Phew! He needs a bath!

Pina barks.

NPC Angel: Later Trigger! We'll just hang way back the rear and watch you dolls lead and stumble.

Sinon: (thickly) Sure help if we knew where we were "stumbling" to!

NPC Angel: I was getting to that, my four-eyed dweeb! Now, the road to threshold starts by challenges by three preliminary bosses -

Leafa: (wryly) More demon "bunnies"?

NPC Angel: Oh, they'll knock your socks off before you even lay a glove, my impudent sylph. Each one possesses the personality and traits of three of the past's biggest baddies, and you'll have to find the tactics and skills that were originally used to bring them down.

Lisbeth: (ruefully) Leafa, I hope you're boned up on your history!

Lux: So you're hinting simple melees won't work, yes?

Sinon: Very sly. You're not going to pull off some obscure adversary tricks, are you?

NPC Angel: Non-contraire! Each boss character is known to you by schooling. How thorough your schooling was to execute your moves is up to you.

Philia: This is gonna be interesting!.

NPC Angel: Oh, I almost forget. About the post-threshold bosses you'll all run across if you dare the frontier! If they don't down stomp you all like flies first, each of them drops the total cure to your private hangs, one-by-one.

ALL GIRLS: Cure?

Lux: (scoffing) That's - impossible!

Philia: (snorting) No way!

Pina Barks.

Leafa: (perking with wild hope) Really? They can do that?

NPC Angel: Now would I bait my team?

Sinon: You're making promises you can't deliver!

Lisbeth: No bosses can cure the soul!

Lux: That's not even funny! The GMs tease too far!

NPC Angel: (cackling) Thy doubts shall see, my minions! Now, charge!

Pina barks in protest.

SOUNDS OF Girls sighing and of trudging footsteps.

Lisbeth: (muttering low) We just gotta give our haughty hitchhiker back there a fitting moniker!

Sinon: What's female dog in Latin, Leafa?

Leafa: (jarred from deep muse) Huh? Er, sorry. I was - wondering what it'd take to make one risk it all past the grace period! I guess we'll know. (quietly and hopefully to self) But a way to onii-chan's heart?...

\- END OF ACT ONE -


	2. Chapter 2

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